Echoes of Hush

Between the Whispers, echoes, and sprit dances,
even the nymphet cannot nudge me to snoozem —

so I would share with you different kind of echo.

Earlier, I demonstrated the value of taking a ‘seed line’
from one poem and crafting another in response.

A finer effort is two dovetail the original and response.
……………………………………………………………….

an e-mail friend by the fancifil name of
Dancing Scorpion, send me this poem …

RAINS DROPS

This drop…
I’ve been watching it
ever since it landed on my window…
it moves every now and then…
must be a breeze.
Wait!
As it snuggled into the drop nearest it,
I see them…they’re dancing together!

My heart races,
my eyes giggle with delight
at the sight of the rain dancing,
hand in hand, upon my window.
Beyond there are many
many bouncing, laughing drops
falling to the ground,
I cannot wait…

my feet remember the feel of wet grass,
mud squishing, water laughing with me
because I tried to look up and see it’s source…
silly girl…there is no source.
Every drop becomes the river that again becomes the sky…
We are all One!
I and the rain are One.
……………………………………………..

I response I sent this, echoing various passages…

RAIN DROPS BOUNCING

See the stranger approach …
I wonder at this Bearer of Light
that can give a different view of life …
static shimmer and shifting pulse …
know the breath of God.

I must seize the moment.
Auras touch and mirror in tune,
my soul is out of balance with mind
in obvious joy and exaltation
at knowing that when two or more
gather in Love’s name – I too am there.

Everywhere and at all times
spirits are reborn in the mirth
of joining this attention,
I can choose now …
to re-member my divinity,
Mother Earth and Life-Tears singing
because I yearn to journey home,
but am trapped in human Covenant…
in cycled creation of thee and me …

We are all One!
I and the rain are One.

…………………………………………………..

Now, consider the effect of dovetailing them

SOLO DUET

by Dancing Falcon

This drop…
see the stranger approach …

I’ve been watching it —
I wonder at this Bearer of Light
ever since it landed on my window…
that can give a different view of life …
It moves every now and then…
static shimmer and shifting pulse …
must be a breeze;
know the breath of God.

Wait! I must seize the moment
as it snuggled into the drop nearest it,
I see them…they’re dancing together!
Auras touch and mirror in tune,
a kiss of spirit meant for me

My heart races,
My soul is out of balance with mind
my eyes giggle with delight
in obvious joy and exaltation
at the sight of the rain dancing,
hand in hand, upon my window.
at knowing that when two or more
gather in Love’s name – I too am there.

Beyond there are many
many bouncing, laughing drops
falling to the ground,
everywhere and at all times,
spirits are reborn in the mirth
of joining this attention,
and I cannot wait…
I can choose now …

My feet remember the feel of wet grass,
mud squishing, water laughing with me
to re-member my divinity,
Mother Earth and Life-Tears singing;
because I tried to look up and see it’s source…
because I yearn to journey home
silly girl…there is no source…
But am trapped in human Covenant…
every drop becomes the river
that again becomes the sky…
in cycled creation of thee and me …

we are all One!
I and the rain are One.

~ by faucon on January 7, 2007.

5 Responses to “Echoes of Hush”

  1. Lying in this woodland, listening to such wordsmithing is a joy faoucon. Wonderful words and I long to see rain drops dancing on my window pane and trampolining in my garden bed.

  2. Yes, the rain drenching the woods would be a fine thing!

  3. Beautiful wording, faucon, the kind that sets my imagination racing into that special place where we are coneected to all of Nature’s gifts.

  4. Wow! I knew about some techniques of writing a poetic response to a poem–finding an image or metaphor within a poem and then using that as a base to write your own poem. Or taking a line from a poem or another written work and building a poem around it. But to so thoroughly intertwine two pieces of writing like that–what a great idea! I will definitely try it. Perhaps not immediately… I think I need to give the Muse time to incubate some metaphors, etc. Thanks again.

    Cheshire

  5. Ah, so this is what is meant by synergy!

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