visiting the well of forgiveness

Daddy,

Your illness

Watching you fade away was just too frightening for me

It was like looking into a mirror and watching myself

All the worst parts of myself, all my faults

Glaringly staring back at me 

Wasting away before my eyes

Face becoming skeletal    

Your facial features

Slipping away like wax melting off the figures in horror movies

Until all that’s left Is a skeleton

Covered by the thinnest of skin 

 The more I saw of your illness

The more I pulled away from you 

I wish you were here

Right in front of me

So I could apologize I have much to apologize for 

~ by cydlee61 on January 1, 2007.

4 Responses to “visiting the well of forgiveness”

  1. we bear what we can in the ways that we can, and somehow, I believe, the dying–those with one foot in either world–can see our struggles and forgive us. Drink deeply from the well, and take comfort.

  2. I am sure that these waters will help you forget the pain and remember the joyful memories. It is so hard, as I know from first hand experience, it is difficult to know what to do in this situation. I regret not comforting my father when he expressed a fear of what would happen if he died, just days before he died of a massive heart attack. I feel for my children as they watch their father decline. We each suffer in our own way. Drink deeply from the well of Lethe and then go and drink from the stream of Mnemosyne and remember the good things.

  3. Wishing you deep healing in the woods.

  4. You’re talking about your dad, a man you loved deeply. I have a feeling he loved you with every fibe of his heart and soul – and understood – so drink deep and forgive yourself.

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